The Master Of Impression Management.

The Disordered Mind in my life was indeed the ‘Master’.
A Master Impressionist, Delusional, Illusionist!

In fact he told me to call him ‘Master’ during intimate moments.

“I am your Master”
“I own you”
“You are my bitch!”
“I possess you, you are mine!”
“I can only be myself with you”
“You are mine & no-one else will ever have you!”

“Yes Master, whatever you say Master!”
I would repeat hypnotically & somewhat trance like?

I thought he was kidding & just needed to use his imagination to well, excite himself!

How wrong I was & how disordered his thinking actually is.

I was subjugated, objectified, demeaned & owned.

“You are my possession”.
“Never tell anyone what I say to you ever!”

Like I would!

I used to inwardly cringe thinking that if I repeated what he said to me my friends would be horrified.
Besides, I thought it was just talk until I discovered the mindset behind the talk.

I was in fact involved for 10 years with a disordered individual in a high ranking job etc…A Commander in the Fire Brigade.
A hero who saves us but, actually alternates from villain to hero as required.
A covert operational, tactical, mind gamer of a very high order.
A full blown personality disordered individual whose main modus operandi was ‘Power & Sex’.

He had high ranking Police & Firemen & his family all cover-up his deviance from the norm.
Obviously they are lied to & manipulated & gamed as classic followers & enablers that are trained subtly like myself.
‘Flying Monkeys’ apparently!

He proclaimed his sexual omnipotence to me continually & often used ‘Triangulation’ to procure his harem.
Yes, a harem or collection of ladies & other individuals he uses to aid & abet his way through life.

(Triangulation is pitting one person, usually his women via jealously etc…against each other.)
One will be the new source of supply that is sent to dispose of the other & I was used to fill both roles!
Initially I was used to discard one of his mistresses that I met him via & in turn, Karma was to have one of his latest women discard me.
I have no anger toward this woman.
She is a Dr of Sociology & an ally somewhat & agrees he is a disordered individual & has witnessed the ‘splitting’ & selfishness & glibness, blaming & shaming etc…
I am astounded that she continues to stay in the collection?

My ex Disordered Mind collects Royal Doulton Lady figurines & was aghast when his ex wife started selling them on Ebay!
I now understand that these ladies were a representative collection of his real ladies.
He is a collector of things & probably brought them as a reward each time a conquest was made.
His ex wife realized the significance of his ‘collection’ & therefore found her way to get back at him.

His adult son is his ‘wing man’, side kick & masters apprentice .
He lies & manipulates & is rewarded with money & trips overseas.
He is on the payroll & earns his keep.
He also lives with his mother the ex wife who sold the ‘collection’.
The son collects ‘Predator’ figures from the movie Predator.
He displays them proudly at his mother’s house!

Does art imitate life or vice versa?
I daresay it does both in the mind of delusion!

Oscar Wilde, The Decay of Lying.
Art never expresses anything but itself
All bad art comes from returning to Life and Nature, and elevating them into ideals
Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life
Lying, the telling of beautiful untrue things, is the proper aim of Art

Perhaps the delusion has crossed over into the real world in more ways than one but, ‘don’t tell anyone it’s just between the disordered mind & me!’


4 thoughts on “The Master Of Impression Management.”

  1. I thought he was kidding, too. The normal mind can’t take seriously something so ridiculous!

    • Hi GeneticPsycho πŸ™‚
      Yes, it was surreal & in hindsight I cannot believe just what I encountered & survived.
      He came from an Italian background so, I assumed his patriarchal behaviour was due to his hereditary. We often disagreed over his control of his family etc…he rang them everyday which at first I thought was a good thing but, it was just to control his minions as, they seemed incapable of making decisions without running things via him.
      He would be livid if he wasn’t consulted & I fought his dominance regularly but, usually laughed it off. This in turn would lead to my punishment with silent treatment etc…he is truly a master of the game!
      I think your Facebook page is excellent so, keep up the great work & spread the awareness πŸ™‚
      Awareb4 πŸ™‚ x

      • I gave my ex the benefit of the doubt, too. I would make excuses up for him! He offered no explanation for his sloth, his indifference, his shrinking from responsibility. When I would ask, “Why did you do such and such?” He often replied, “I don’t know”. Compassionate Me would say to myself that’s it was all due to his backwoods hick hillbilly upbringing, and I would let it go. I had no idea I was being used for 15 years, because I had his undeserving back. That was many years ago. Now I can spot psychopaths pretty easily. Thanks for the kudos! Thank you for your work, too!

      • @GeneticPsycho (Tina) Thank You.

        It took me two very abusive but, different experiences to get here & reach my own pinnacle of awareness.
        I had 19 yrs with Mr no responsibility to another 10 yrs with a major player (psychopath) that blew me away.
        I have taken my lessons & hopefully learned & yes, I can spot them more easily too!
        Staying true to myself, knowing my boundaries & sticking with them & not being controlled ever again is amazing πŸ™‚
        I wrote recently that an abusive life & the knowledge of what it is/does/causes etc…is like getting out of jail/goal for a crime you did not commit but, find yourself constantly having to redeem your self.
        The awareness has been overwhelming but, worth every minute because, I arrived back in myself like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz!
        There is no place like home & home resides within us all πŸ™‚
        Love & Light to you πŸ™‚ xoxo

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