The Disordered Mind in my life was indeed the ‘Master’.
A Master Impressionist, Delusional, Illusionist!
In fact he told me to call him ‘Master’ during intimate moments.
“I am your Master”
“I own you”
“You are my bitch!”
“I possess you, you are mine!”
“I can only be myself with you”
“You are mine & no-one else will ever have you!”
“Yes Master, whatever you say Master!”
I would repeat hypnotically & somewhat trance like?
I thought he was kidding & just needed to use his imagination to well, excite himself!
How wrong I was & how disordered his thinking actually is.
I was subjugated, objectified, demeaned & owned.
“You are my possession”.
“Never tell anyone what I say to you ever!”
Like I would!
I used to inwardly cringe thinking that if I repeated what he said to me my friends would be horrified.
Besides, I thought it was just talk until I discovered the mindset behind the talk.
I was in fact involved for 10 years with a disordered individual in a high ranking job etc…A Commander in the Fire Brigade.
A hero who saves us but, actually alternates from villain to hero as required.
A covert operational, tactical, mind gamer of a very high order.
A full blown personality disordered individual whose main modus operandi was ‘Power & Sex’.
He had high ranking Police & Firemen & his family all cover-up his deviance from the norm.
Obviously they are lied to & manipulated & gamed as classic followers & enablers that are trained subtly like myself.
‘Flying Monkeys’ apparently!
He proclaimed his sexual omnipotence to me continually & often used ‘Triangulation’ to procure his harem.
Yes, a harem or collection of ladies & other individuals he uses to aid & abet his way through life.
(Triangulation is pitting one person, usually his women via jealously etc…against each other.)
One will be the new source of supply that is sent to dispose of the other & I was used to fill both roles!
Initially I was used to discard one of his mistresses that I met him via & in turn, Karma was to have one of his latest women discard me.
I have no anger toward this woman.
She is a Dr of Sociology & an ally somewhat & agrees he is a disordered individual & has witnessed the ‘splitting’ & selfishness & glibness, blaming & shaming etc…
I am astounded that she continues to stay in the collection?
My ex Disordered Mind collects Royal Doulton Lady figurines & was aghast when his ex wife started selling them on Ebay!
I now understand that these ladies were a representative collection of his real ladies.
He is a collector of things & probably brought them as a reward each time a conquest was made.
His ex wife realized the significance of his ‘collection’ & therefore found her way to get back at him.
His adult son is his ‘wing man’, side kick & masters apprentice .
He lies & manipulates & is rewarded with money & trips overseas.
He is on the payroll & earns his keep.
He also lives with his mother the ex wife who sold the ‘collection’.
The son collects ‘Predator’ figures from the movie Predator.
He displays them proudly at his mother’s house!
Does art imitate life or vice versa?
I daresay it does both in the mind of delusion!
Oscar Wilde, The Decay of Lying.
Art never expresses anything but itself
All bad art comes from returning to Life and Nature, and elevating them into ideals
Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life
Lying, the telling of beautiful untrue things, is the proper aim of Art
Perhaps the delusion has crossed over into the real world in more ways than one but, ‘don’t tell anyone it’s just between the disordered mind & me!’