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Surviving A Disordered Mind.

Tag Archives: Freedom

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you (sigh) Thank you!

04 Friday Jul 2014

Posted by awareb4 in Disordered Minds/Individuals/Sociopaths/Narcissists

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ABUSE, Abusive Relationships, Cheats, Covert Abuse, Disordered Minds, Freedom, Manipulation., Mind Gaming, NARCISSISTS, Pathological Liars, RELATIONSHIPS, Sociopath/Covert Narcissists, Survival, Targets., trust, victimisation

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you (sigh!) Thank you!

My ex Socio/Narc was always making me thank him if he did anything for me.
I always said thank you but, it was never enough.
He actually did very little for me unless, it was to his advantage.

He would say, ‘You don’t seem that happy’ or ‘Are you sure you want this?’ etc…
I would always say ‘Yes’ or ‘Thank you’ but, it was incessant.
His need for my appreciation was obsessive.

He would say, ‘Where would you like to go for dinner?’
I would tell him my preference & then he would manipulate me to go where he wanted.
In the end I would just say, “wherever you like”.

He would ask me what I’d like to eat & then say, ‘are you sure?’
‘Wouldn’t you prefer this?’
In the end I would say ‘You order for both of us’.
If I ordered an entree size he would ask for the main so, he could eat my leftovers!

He would eat his meals so quick & then look bored.
He would always force me to try a spoonful of his meal & thrust his fork at me like a parent does a child.
If I refused, he wouldn’t give up & would demand ‘Just have a taste!’.
To stop the ridiculousness I would give in & placate him.
He always eats really unhealthy food so, as I am health conscious it really went against my grain (No pun intended!).

It’s really hard to eat & enjoy your meal when the other party is on the phone or texting.
He would leave me eating alone & take calls from the ‘others’ & I had no clue.

He had two phones, two jobs & two emails.
Two or more women. Two lives & two of everything really, like socks or sucks depending on how you look at it?

He was constantly ‘appearing’ busy & had many excuses & covers.
He would signal someone to call him so, he could leave.

He would take me home & then ask me if I had a good time which, I had already thanked him for.
I would thank him again for wining & dining me, deigning his valuable time on me.
He was a very busy man just ‘doing the business’.
Not my business, just his own!

He would ask me about his sexual performance & how he compared to my ex etc…
I told his ‘EGO’ he was the best but, I never discussed my ex as, it was none of his business!
To be honest, my ex was better 😉

Every time I did something for him he would say, ‘Thank you darling I appreciate everything I make you do for me!’
At least that was my interpretation!

He was also a ‘calling card’ narcissist with statements like “You deserve better”.
“you would make someone a great wife”, “I really should take you out more” & wait for it, “I’m a bastard”.

Translation : “You deserve it but, not from me!”
“I’ll never marry you but, I will make sure no-one else has you either!” & “I should treat you better but, can’t be bothered putting in the effort”.

I figured all this out after I was discarded.
Like a bird in a cage, the door was left open & I flew away.
Far far away.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, (sigh of relief ) Thank You!
Thank Me & God for finally setting myself free!

Awareb4
thank you

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awareb4

awareb4

Welcome to my blog & thank you for stopping by. I am an ordinary layperson hoping to do something extraordinary by sharing my stories of life & love. I have had two long term toxic relationships plus, child abuse & a workplace sociopath so, am well experienced to emphasize with others that have suffered any type of abuse. I write of events & Impressions with mindfulness,understanding, kindness, gratitude & healing. I offer support for others with like minded intentions. I chose the 'Chateau' theme as, it reminds me of all the light & dark in our lives & how looking down the grand hallway with the light streaming in & the shadows seemed appropriate to my life & journey through this life.

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