We have all been told that we first need to forgive in order to move on from betrayal & other acts of evil committed upon us.
As we know, this is not easy, not easy at all!
When you have been badly hurt by betrayal delivered in the guise of love, you have suffered on many levels beyond normal comprehension. It’s a mind, body & soul blow!
An act deliberately perpetrated on you by a loved one is extremely damaging. You have your love for them used against you.
This is no different from most harmful acts against humanity. Acts against humanity hurt us all but, acts against us by a loved one is the ultimate cruelty. Someone you trust has broken you. Someone you called a friend has betrayed you. Someone you valued has devalued you!
It is like hurting an animal that you befriend then mistreat! Have you ever seen your dog bound up to you with nothing but, joy & love in their hearts.Only to be growled at or ignored. See their eyes!
A small child raises it’s arms to you for comfort but, you turn & ignore them.That’s really cruel & the unsuspecting loving child is left confused & bereft. What did they do wrong, nothing! See their eye’s!
The ignorant & cruel perpetrator did the wrong! By failing to acknowledge the reciprocation of love in all it’s forms! From a wildly wagging tail to a huge smile on a child’s face. To the ultimate betrayal of love & all it holds dear.
So, how do you forgive this?Hmm…
Firstly your trust was won over with falsities. Secondly your betrayer portrayed a lover, friend or protector. Thirdly & most importantly, you would never dream of doing such a thing to anyone!
I often found myself sinking into an ocean of despair as, I tried to fathom such betrayal, dishonesty & callousness.
As I sat watching the waves crash over my head, I realized that forgiveness was like fighting for breath.
I pushed painfully to the ocean surface from the bottom of the sea bed & broke the surface with a great urgency for air, a gasp for survival!
Waves still crashed & the fight to stay afloat was extremely hard, tiring & I had to tread for many hours until I could float & rest!
Finally choppy sea’s abated to calmer sea’s & whilst you can never forget act’s of betrayal, you must learn to breathe in forgiveness. This does not exonerate the perpetrator, far from it. It releases you from them & their deeds against you.
You can choose to sit in the depths of your ocean or you can start swimming to the surface. You know if you stay at the bottom you will inevitably drown in a sea of regret, pain, anger, revenge & self pity. That would be the biggest, wildest, murkiest ocean of all!
You do not accept what someone has done but, you learn to forgive them their inability to have the deep self reflection, sense of their deeds & their need to destroy. There will always be evil & the sun shines on all & rain falls on all. Good & Bad!
The difference is, that we can feel the warmth of the sun with appreciation & that the rain signifies regrowth & rebirth. The tides roll in & out by the pull of the moon & we learn to forgive
So, that we can continue to roll on. We sink but, we rise over & over & forgive in order to breathe!