She was 11 years old when he broke her heart into a million piece’s.
Apparently it was my fault he left us for our business receptionist & was rejecting his daughter so, that he could cater to his new found love.
I remember sitting on the couch the day we told the children Daddy was leaving.
It was to be amicable as no-one else was apparently involved. It was our 6 year old sons birthday the next day so, his timing was perfect. We would carry on as the perfect family in public & for business but, he couldn’t even wait to leave his son’s party to get back to his new lady love.
I sat on the couch with a devastated child either side whilst he quickly exited as he could not stand their tears. My son cried silently as, his world crashed around him. My daughter was hysterical & I was destroyed.
Not because he was leaving us but, because he broke our children’s hearts without a backwards glance. We all slept together that night. They tossed & turned & I lay awake silently thinking how we would survive. I kept up routines & schedules for normalcy & privacy but, even that was impossible.
A few weeks later, it was his mother’s surprise 70 birthday party & my parents were also invited. Everyone arrived early & took their positions, everyone except for him.He arrived after the ‘surprise’ as, he was busy with the new lady.
That night at the party we played ‘normal’ amicable separated couple games. He preceded to get rotten drunk & his mother & step-dad had to drive him home.
I went home alone with two sleepy children & was awakened early by my mother. My father had had a nasty fall when they got home & he had broken his ankle & elbow. I rang the now ex but, he was busy? I loaded us all into the car & headed for the hospital.
A few days later, just before Christmas we were asked to come for dinner at a local pub with friends & to get us out etc…we went. Driving along we stopped at the lights & low & behold, right beside us was the ex & new lady.
My children were horrified. They did not know but, it was now out in the open & obvious they were more than just friends. I drove to the pub in tears & once again my daughter was hysterical & my little boy, choked back big racking sobs.
My ex wanted me to sell the house asap for our business etc…I had already been working to help pay the new ladies wages, buy her gifts etc…but, that was before I knew about them.
I was livid & refused to sell so, he stopped paying the mortgage, car payment & offered zero financial support. Emotional blackmail at its finest.
My parents stepped up with financial backing & I managed to stay in the family home for about 6 months. I had no choice but, to sell so, we lost our car, home, one pet (old age) & we moved away from our family & friends where I could afford to buy a small cottage.
My daughter refused to go anywhere he was. I asked him if he would consider sharing family events so, we could go for the first couple of hours & then leave & he could go. It sounded like a workable idea to me but, he refused & said that if she was going to act like that, bad luck. Act like what, a child!!!
So, I would take my son to his families events & then leave & spend those special times with my daughter.
The funny thing is, he was never on time to any family event & I went to many previous ones alone or covered for his lateness.
My daughter eventually realised that if she wanted to be included & not miss out seeing her family, she had to rise above & play the game. It took 7 years but, she finally succeeded & I was so proud of her. I myself had sat through numerous situation’s with ex & the girlfriend & even though I wanted to punch her lights out, I refrained & never lowered myself. I won’t write what I wanted to do to him!
My daughter & my son are my biggest loves & greatest gifts. We don’t play games, we are real & authentic, we are a team. Daddy’s little girl is Mummy’s pride & joy & a great testimony to me & above all herself. That 11 year old little girl grew up very fast & into a spectacular young woman with good healthy boundaries, common sense & love. She thinks her Daddy is a fool & it wasn’t anything I did. As an adult viewing his ongoing behaviour, she drew that conclusion for herself. Daddy’s little girl is her own Queen of Hearts & all the pieces are back together. You are my sunshine my only sunshine.