People often ask me, ‘How did you survive XYZ?’Honestly I don’t know how best to answer that as, it’s such a unique & individual journey,road or path?
What has gotten me through my abusive relationships & traumas?
Something has that’s for sure but, what?
Many things & sometimes just pure Luck!
Like many others I have had awful life events & like many others they could have been far worse or far better.
I have suffered more than some & far less than many.
Just that thought makes a difference, mindfulness of others being even worse off.
It’s never changed my situations but, perspective can bring great relief, resourcefulness & resilience.
Perception gives you another way to ‘frame it’ & ‘see it differently’ & most of all ‘understand it.’
What I do know about suffering after relationship breakdowns, domestic, emotional, spiritual, child abuse, near death, loss of loved ones, serious accidents, depression, fathers demise via alcoholism & major surgery etc…. is that I had a ‘Will To Survive’.We all have it.
It’s a primitive response & inherent in us all.
It’s built in & always will be & it goes by another name, ‘Faith’.
I always have faith that it will improve or get better.I am no better or stronger than anyone else.
I do however ‘listen’ acutely when I hear my inner voice.
My resilience comes to the fore & I fight like hell to regain my foothold on this tenuous life. I always hear in my most darkest moments, that special whispering voice that says,
‘Get Up’.
‘Do not let this destroy you.’
‘This is not your fault’.
‘Keep going’.
‘It’s not over’.
‘It’s not your time’.
‘Don’t give up’.
‘You have others depending on you.’
‘Your needed’.
‘Your not ready to go yet’.
‘Bloody hell just Fight’.

Sometimes I hear, ‘For Christ sakes just stop feeling sorry for yourself it could be worse!’ Or, ‘It’s not all about you so, stop carrying on & get on with it!’
I especially love, ‘Move your arse girl, get up & get on!’
You have got to love the voice of reason don’t you!
Not always tactful but, true!

Most of all in those really awful moments,I pray.
I am not at all religious. ( I have nothing against religion, I just don’t follow any one in particular).
I have enjoyed many components of religion & religious teachings & services.
I got ‘saved’ once. It got me out of going to Sunday school.
No point going once your saved!

I am not an atheist nor am I against that belief.
‘To each his own’ is my motto & as long as you respect my beliefs, I will respect yours. (Unless your a Zealot then probably not).
I do believe in  a ‘Higher Power’, ‘Awareness’ or ‘Life-force’.
‘May the Force be with you’, ha ha.

I am by no means a saint & I have sinned I am sure.
I have always had the innate ability to self reflect deeply & stop a destructive behaviour if I recognise it.
It usually bites me on the ass first but, I take heed & stop anything that may be detrimental to myself or others.

I have recognised addictive problems in myself & genetic dis-positioning & conditioning & environmental influences & my interaction with them.
I have drank copious amounts of alcohol & smoked cigarettes & even had a few puffs of marijuana.
I do not like being controlled by substances so, gave them all up. I still have a nice wine to celebrate but, I make a conscious decision that I stay in total control.

I don’t like being controlled by anything or anyone but, I obviously am not a rebellious type.
I have always done the right thing within society.
I like law & order & structure & routine. I live in a democracy although, I sometimes wonder if the ones in Power ‘have lost the plot!’
I still have hope that the majority who are in ‘power’ are there for the benefit of the overall populace.
I live in the ‘lucky country’ & I am mindful of that fact compared, to other nations on this planet.
I am indeed very fortunate & extremely grateful.

I recognise the ability to survive comes from our intrinsic core values.
Real value for life & a great compassion for others & ones self.
We all need to recognise our own suffering & that of others &, keep it in context & relevant to our lives. You must cultivate a good mindset & tend it like a garden. Good friendships must also be planted in your garden & encouraged to grow & help your growth.

When we lose site of hope, we can become victims of self pity which can be justifiable but, does us no good.
The only way we can benefit ourselves is to not pity ourselves but, strive to help ourselves by self support & self love.

Fundamentally we need to love all aspects of our human condition.
The good, the bad & the ugly & work towards more good & less bad & ugly.
We have to understand ourselves & our fears & not hate because, hate feeds fear.

To eradicate ‘fear’, we must learn to embrace the bad & ugly stuff for the lessons they teach.
Then we work hard at never repeating those lessons ever again.
We don’t want to be like ‘history repeating’ so, unless we learn & change our ‘story’ we may not survive the next time around?

If you ask Buddha, he will tell you & he has been around forever!

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
Gautama Buddha

Strength is within us all. Compassion is it’s lover.
Stay mindful & present.
Present strength & mindfulness always & love compassionately!

An Original Post by Awareb4.
Inspired by a ‘good’ friend 🙂Image