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The Projectionist, the Protagonist & the Perfectionist.
The Disordered Mind that was my Sociopath/Narcissist was all of the above.
He projected himself onto me with great skill & projected me back to myself like an old movie reel.
He would lecture me about how I should do things & could do things better.
Sometimes he was right & gave me the right guidance but, mostly his monologues were used to control & manipulate my mind.
As he was in a high ranking position, I trusted his insights, his worldliness & experience.
Unfortunately I over-rode my own gut instincts & often found myself falling on his sword.
He became my leading man, my protagonist & acted his role very well.
It was like a soap opera with him cast as the leading man.
I was led to believe I was his leading lady but, the ‘casting couch’ was being worked overtime!
The ‘bit players’ & ‘extras’ all made the show entertaining & kept me on the edge of my seat.
The perfectionist demands he made of me were outrageous & he often had me doing his work including his diploma, fixing his facsimile machine, buying ink, buying his clothes online, cleaning his house as he moved in with the other woman. Supplying boxes for the move from my workplace, trimming his toenails, general duties he deigned me to do.
He would always wash my cup straight after I used it. I now realise it wasn’t OCD it was to make sure everything was perfect for the next visitor.
Well, he couldn’t have my lipstick stain on the cup giving him away.
I found a cup with lipstick on it & he said it was his sisters? Obviously I never asked her.
He would make the bed straight after love making but, usually just spread a towel on top to save the sheets.
Once again this was a way to keep his secrets from the ‘others’ & me. I found an earring in his bed twice & it was either his daughters or sisters. They often cleaned house for him so, I accepted this excuse.
He would shower after intimate interludes & proclaimed he liked to be clean in case he had an accident!
I just took this as ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’ but, he was far from clean.
His dirty devious mind was never washed.
His lies were well planned & he was indeed a projectionist, protagonist & perfectionist.
He never thought I would finally discover who & what he is or the game plan.
I found out after my demise but, at least I figured it all out & I see clearly now, I ‘get it!’
He is a high functioning Socialised Sociopath/Covert Narcissist. Nailed It!
AwareB4.

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