When Too Much Information IS Harmful!
The abusers arsenal & how much do you contribute to it?
Be careful what information you tell others about yourself as, they can & will use it against you.
I was 21 when I met my first Disordered Mind & within the first 5 minutes had, ‘literally spilled my guts’ to him!
I was young, open, honest & best of all trusting.
I told him my history, my insecurities, my thoughts, my opinions etc…
Obviously not all within our first meeting but, over time he knew me very well.
I eventually married him of course & he used all of my self against me!
He still does & will continue to, even though we have been divorced 11 years.
He knows how to upset me & knows my weaknesses & plays on them.
Basically he withholds financial support for our children & I end up having to ask ‘nicely’ or ‘beg’ etc…
It’s a game he has played for years & if I don’t say ‘Thank-you’ he never lets it go & next time is even harder!
Unfortunately he was part of the reason I met the next mind gamer!
I was forced to sell the family car as my ex refused to make the lease payments.
I was referred by a friend to a ‘Car Dealer’ who is also a Fireman but, works two jobs.
I was extremely traumatised as my ex had literally just ‘walked away’ & abandoned us that, I was fair game.
It was ‘open season’ on abused wives as far as he was concerned.
I have since learnt that he ‘preys’ on all his ‘collection’ like this.
He see’s an ‘in’ & he takes it as, he feels entitled to do that.
He’s extremely charismatic & mirrors very well.
Luckily for me & I did this ‘knowingly’ is, that I never divulged my every thought/insecurity/opinion.
I realised that was my downfall with my ex but, stupidly I not only quieted my inner voice, I quieted my outer voice.
By that I mean, I continued to accept unacceptable behaviour by not just ‘giving him a piece of my mind’.
I used to express my feelings to my ex husband for his wrong doings, gambling, drinking & generally selfish behaviour but, he would then make me pay after the apologies etc…
With the next abuser, I never complained, I ignored him.
He obviously found that challenging & used passive-aggressive tactics on me.
My eventual discard only occurred when an other women exposed him to me & then stayed?
Regardless of this, it was my lack of too much information that saved me.
He literally had no idea that I hid the inner me for protection & that stood me well later.
He did try & get me to tell him everything but, I was always guarded & wary.
This was my ‘inner guidance’ at work & I may have missed all those other ‘red flags’ but, thankfully I saw that one!
My message is always keep your past behind you & you don’t need to share it all.
Especially the bits that reveal your deepest fears, concerns, perceived weaknesses etc…
Also, think before you speak.
Will what you say have a ‘power’ all it’s own over you?
Remember the Disordered Mind retains all your stuff in their ‘filing cabinet’ that will be useful later.
Your likes & dislikes, your strengths, your weaknesses, your code of values, your whole persona will be ‘logged’ & checked & disseminated.
You can trust again but, you will be more conscious & mindful.
Only give to whole hearts not, empty ones looking for you to fill them up!
Awareb4 🙂
Oftentimes the disordered mind has played the game so many times, they have a well rehearsed play book and question list they go through in the first few meetings. Everything is filed accordingly.
Thank You AGPT for your comment & welcome 🙂
Yes, nothing goes unnoticed & is retrieved from that mind vault when required.
I think the ‘stare’ is the ‘click’ ‘click’ as they photograph, copy & assimilate the information received.
They often regurgitate your own words back or ‘change them up’ to suit.
As you don’t go about diarizing every word you or they say, you will always find your words twisted or retold.
I believe because, they actually listen to your every word & watch every body nuance without emotionally interacting in the true sense, they always have the advantage.
When I concentrate fully & intently on something, I am hyper vigilant & don’t ‘miss a trick’ but, I don’t maintain that minute by minute as they do. No wonder mine was always exhausted! 😉
The watching of each situation in the manner they do is also known as “scheming”! They look to play the angles that a situation brings up, either right then or later. Normal people will do this occasionally but as the disordered mind is an inordinately selfish one they will do this on a constant basis.
They have an advantage before they are known for what they are. Once they are known, however, that advantage falls away and a non DM (disordered mind) can protect against them. They are not supermen as much as they would like to think so.
Yes AGPT they are indeed devious schemers & impression managers.
That old adage that ‘first impressions count.’
They create impressions & once they have the desired control they then start the gaming!
The scheming, the taking, the whole shebang!
I have noticed that once you are onto them they become cowards.
Once you ‘see them’ you remove their perceived power which, is the fact behind the fiction!
The ‘truth behind the lies’. 🙂