When Too Much Information IS Harmful!
The abusers arsenal & how much do you contribute to it?
Be careful what information you tell others about yourself as, they can & will use it against you.
I was 21 when I met my first Disordered Mind & within the first 5 minutes had, ‘literally spilled my guts’ to him!
I was young, open, honest & best of all trusting.
I told him my history, my insecurities, my thoughts, my opinions etc…
Obviously not all within our first meeting but, over time he knew me very well.
I eventually married him of course & he used all of my self against me!
He still does & will continue to, even though we have been divorced 11 years.
He knows how to upset me & knows my weaknesses & plays on them.
Basically he withholds financial support for our children & I end up having to ask ‘nicely’ or ‘beg’ etc…
It’s a game he has played for years & if I don’t say ‘Thank-you’ he never lets it go & next time is even harder!
Unfortunately he was part of the reason I met the next mind gamer!
I was forced to sell the family car as my ex refused to make the lease payments.
I was referred by a friend to a ‘Car Dealer’ who is also a Fireman but, works two jobs.
I was extremely traumatised as my ex had literally just ‘walked away’ & abandoned us that, I was fair game.
It was ‘open season’ on abused wives as far as he was concerned.
I have since learnt that he ‘preys’ on all his ‘collection’ like this.
He see’s an ‘in’ & he takes it as, he feels entitled to do that.
He’s extremely charismatic & mirrors very well.
Luckily for me & I did this ‘knowingly’ is, that I never divulged my every thought/insecurity/opinion.
I realised that was my downfall with my ex but, stupidly I not only quieted my inner voice, I quieted my outer voice.
By that I mean, I continued to accept unacceptable behaviour by not just ‘giving him a piece of my mind’.
I used to express my feelings to my ex husband for his wrong doings, gambling, drinking & generally selfish behaviour but, he would then make me pay after the apologies etc…
With the next abuser, I never complained, I ignored him.
He obviously found that challenging & used passive-aggressive tactics on me.
My eventual discard only occurred when an other women exposed him to me & then stayed?
Regardless of this, it was my lack of too much information that saved me.
He literally had no idea that I hid the inner me for protection & that stood me well later.
He did try & get me to tell him everything but, I was always guarded & wary.
This was my ‘inner guidance’ at work & I may have missed all those other ‘red flags’ but, thankfully I saw that one!
My message is always keep your past behind you & you don’t need to share it all.
Especially the bits that reveal your deepest fears, concerns, perceived weaknesses etc…
Also, think before you speak.
Will what you say have a ‘power’ all it’s own over you?
Remember the Disordered Mind retains all your stuff in their ‘filing cabinet’ that will be useful later.
Your likes & dislikes, your strengths, your weaknesses, your code of values, your whole persona will be ‘logged’ & checked & disseminated.
You can trust again but, you will be more conscious & mindful.
Only give to whole hearts not, empty ones looking for you to fill them up!